Pleasure in Life

Adam Adryan was born on 9th April 2012 via ceasarian delivery. It was a tough call for me that time cause I was kinda expecting normal birth delivery. At 8th month check up with my gynae, he confirmed that "oh baby head down.. can prepare for normal delivery.." So as I waited for the moment of counting down or those painstaking braxton hicks or perhaps "oh no the waterbag burst!" moment.. yet I felt nothing as the day goes by.

Of course, as the day goes by, my tummy gets heavier and I get more lethargic at the end of the day. I tire easily and emotions was super sensitive. I dont know why but I kept having this feeling of lost and I am about to lose something or someone anytime soon. I pray hard it has nothing to do with my baby.

Come the 9th month...

my baby was actively kicking at night. he moves a lot and as usual, I would ask my husband to touch my tummy when he moves.. the funny thing, he stop moving when that palm rested on my bulging tummy.. and he would automatically start moving again once my husband lift up his hands from my tummy. I enjoyed those moments. I love this baby, come what may.

Then I went for my 9th month scan and monthly check up.. supposed to be my last check up before delivery.. and comes the moment of truth that really shocked me. The scan shows that my baby was in a breech position. Head up!! I asked the doctor who did the scanning like 3 times for confirmation. And yes!! My baby is in breech position at 9th month. I knew what lie in store for me when I went in to meet my gynae.

I remembered crying.. not because of regret.. but I was so afraid.. not because of the operation, but I was afraid that with this operation, I will take longer time to recover and thus, I wont be able to handle or care for my baby. Taking more time to recover means I will have to depend on people for some chores, which is something I was not willing to go thru.

I came home thinking what went wrong... then I realised what I just did was Wrong! I should not have think that way. I knew I never did anything wrong. God was testing me. He blessed me with this baby and I knew this is the start of my journey as a mother and it begins with this simple test from Him.

I embraced my fears for I know, God is with me.. God wanted me to give birth to this baby this way. It was no one's fault.

I thank God for such blessing and I knew His pleasures is nothing comparable to the biggest gems in this world. He bless me with a gem and his name is Adam Adryan. Alhamdunillah.

Just to share:

Firman Allah SWT - "Sesungguhnya sesudah suatu kesulitan, pasti ada kemudahan.."